The Five Love Affairs of Kuro'o Hazama's Life
by LuxaLucifer
Summary: People told him that love was special and important, but he was of the opinion that saving lives was more so.
1. Black Queen

Hello! This is a bit of a weird fic- I wrote it all at once, then separated it, then put it together, then decided it should be a chapter fic...anyway, here it is! I'm uploading it all at once, since that's what I think it should be, even if it means less reviews. Rated for occasional references to sex and language (in a sexual context). I hope you like it. :)

* * *

The Black Queen

If someone told him the way to his own heart was paved with booze, he wouldn't believed them. Pipe tobacco, maybe. Finely sharpened scalpels, definitely. Booze? He wasn't a heavy drinker. Well, he wasn't a heavy drinker except New Year's and after hard surgeries.

And then she staggered into his life, reeking of cheap liquor and challenging his skills. She told him, with no awkwardness whatsoever, that he was a creepy son of a bitch with no morals or decorum. She admitted to being the same and absolutely loving the feel of chopping a limb off. He hated to admit it, but he could relate.

Like him, she was skilled and respected. Like him, she was disliked. Unlike him, she was beautiful.

He stayed away from her.

* * *

Once in a while, he dreamed about her. Her soft lips and blue eyes would come to him while he slept and he'd wake up sticky and ashamed; the only times he washed his own sheets.

He never let himself get too depressed to move. It always came on him while he was traveling, stuck in one place for more than a couple hours. When he was operating, his mind couldn't be clearer. When he sat there with nothing but his thoughts, things became muddled and confused, like his life was the punchline to a joke he hadn't heard, and the Black Queen had been the most important part of that.

Then he'd get up and walk, and his thoughts returned to normal.

* * *

How dare she come back. How dare she waltz back into his life like that. He had put her behind him. She was in his past. She was a memory that was forcing its way back into his life, and he wasn't having it.

When she told him how she felt, when she looked at him with those big sweet eyes and said that she cared for him, he reminded himself that he was freakish and angry and hated, and that she deserved someone better.

He told himself that it didn't hurt when she walked away.


	2. Kiriko

Chapter Two already. :P This is the chapter with the swearing, so be warning. Also, this chapter is slash...so yeah. Black Jack/Kiriko, I guess. I hope you like it! :)

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Kiriko

It began as most things involving that man did; with hate. It was hate that drove him to get roaring drunk and drive to that awful man's house. It was hatred that made him to knock on his door. When the fraud of a doctor opened his door to sneer at him, his anger and disgust was what pushed him to growl and kiss the nasty man on the mouth.

He wasn't sure what made Kiriko kiss him back, but he had a suspicion it was the same reason.

* * *

"You taste like smoke."

Black Jack didn't care. His next kiss was deeper, hoping that the taste would overpower Kiriko in a way that he couldn't.

It didn't. It never did. Kiriko responded by gripping Black Jack's wrists, holding them over his head with one hand, and grasping his clothed erection with the other. There was lust in the other doctor's eyes. Lust and anger.

He let out a growl, and Kiriko knew it was okay to go further. He fucked Black Jack hard that night, just like every other night they fucked.

* * *

"I can see where you might have been attractive."

Kiriko was smoking, bringing the cigarette to his lips with sinful appreciation. Every time he puffed his cheeks out and let it out the smoke so that it blew in his face, making his eyes water.

"You're not a morning person, are you?" he said.

Kiriko chuckled.

It didn't feel different. When he had reached for his clothes the previous night, preparing for a long, dark drive home, Kiriko had reached for his arm and asked him to stay. In that moment, something had changed. He'd never asked that before.

At least, he'd thought it had changed. But now here he was, wearing Kiriko's ill-fitting bathrobe and having insults thrown at him over scrambled eggs.

"You would have been attractive if you weren't so scarred," said Kiriko, casually continuing his earlier thought.

His jaw worked as he gritted his teeth.

"Your face is the worst," he said. "But your legs aren't much better. I suppose you're good enough in bed to make up for it. Not great, but good enough."

He stabbed his eggs with his fork and brought them to his mouth. They were dry. Kiriko wasn't much of a cook.

"I'm twenty years older and still more attractive," said Kiriko, chuckling at himself.

He hated that it was true. Kiriko wasn't _much_ to look at, but he was still better looking than he was.

"You might be all right if you had a better sense of style," said Kiriko. "You look like you got those sideburns out of a cereal box."

He glanced up from the eggs in time for Kiriko to blow another puff of smoke in his face. His eyes smarted, and he wiped them quickly.

"All I've lost is an eye," said Kiriko. "And surgery can't give me back that. Why don't you operate on yourself? Make yourself look like less of a freak?"

He hated this question. People assumed that to be a good surgeon he had to look perfect. He'd like to seem them try to operate on their own faces. Even if it had been possible, however, he wouldn't do it. He was fine with his face, most of the time. Not _now_, but usually.

Kiriko was staring at him. He hadn't noticed until now. The intensity of his gaze was unnerving. What was he waiting for?

Then Black Jack got it. He understood.

"You're not going to get a rise out of me," he said finally.

Kiriko looked taken aback, and Black Jack knew he had gotten it.

"I'm not here for you to make fun of me," he said. "I'm not here to fight."

"Then what are you here for?" asked Kiriko.

"I..." he began, not thinking. "I thought..."

He turned red at the look of incredulity Kiriko shot him. He had given too much away. Of course he'd been mistaken. Kiriko had just been being polite when he asked him to stay the night. There was nothing more.

"Look," said Kiriko awkwardly.

"No," he said roughly, embarrassed. "I get it. Sorry for making things weird."

"Wait-" started Kiriko, but he was already out of his chair. It only took a minute to collect his things, and once he had he was out of there.

Nothing was different here but Black Jack himself.

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Reviewing puts metaphorical coins in my pockets. :)


	3. Megumi

Also, just thought I'd mention I'm uploading these in the order of importance to Black Jack. So yeah. I hope you like it! :)

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Megumi

When he saw her, he wished he was brave enough to ask her if he could walk her home.

Instead he cleared his throat and gazed at her through an air of indifference. She always tried to smile, but it would falter when she saw the mask he put on. That, or just his face in general. It wouldn't be the first time.

"I hate him," he heard a nurse whisper once. "He's so creepy. I wish they screened people like him out."

He stayed long enough to hear her reply- "Don't be rude. He's the best this school's ever seen. He's quiet, that's all."

Quiet, not creepy. He floated on that for a long time.

It was harder not to smile at her after that.

* * *

He wasn't the kind of man who made photo albums. He sat cross-legged on his floor regardless, thick hands cutting the pictures with the precision of a surgeon and pasting with the clumsiness of a child.

He'd loved her. He'd known that for years now, known that ever since the first time he'd seen her walking home in the rain. He'd ruined it for himself. He hadn't figured that part out until much later. Every time he'd seen her and not said anything, just breezed past her with a blank face, he'd driven another stake in their nonexistent relationship.

But he had pictures. He'd cherished them at the time. He still remembered how he'd gotten each of them, one given by her, group photos from the hospital, one actually stolen from her wallet.

God.

Did he really do that?

Did he follow her home every night?

What had he been _thinking? _

He covered his face with his hands, remembering. It had taken him fifteen seconds to know that he loved her, but five years to realize he'd never given himself a chance.

And seven to realize that he had been a twenty-two year old creep.

He shut the photo album firmly, deciding right then to give it to her the next time her ship docked at port. She must have had a thing for complete bastards, considering she'd actually liked him _back._

Hell, in that case, he might still have a chance.

* * *

He did not have a chance. He could see it, not in the way Kei dressed or the way he carried himself, but the way he met his eyes and smiled. When Megumi had loved him, it had been different.

It was a good day. They talked for the first time in years, and it was good to have someone who actually enjoyed him company. He never realized how rare it was for him to have another doctor to speak to, truly _talk_ to, without the derision of one who believes themselves better (morally and in every other way) than you.

When Kei left, Black Jack could smile. It was almost easy. He'd moved on. Megumi Kisaragi had loved Black Jack, but Kei didn't, and he was okay with it.

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Reviews are love. :3


	4. Pinoko

Next chapter already? *gasp* :)

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Pinoko

It didn't take long to regret giving Pinoko a body. He would never tell anyone that, but it was the truth. He regretted it, for a time. He regretted it when she'd pull him out of bed and dump freezing water on him, when she fed him disgusting food, when she interrupted his work.

It didn't take long before he stopped regretting it either.

* * *

"Doc, Doc!"

He was eating his breakfast. He did not like to be disturbed while he was eating his breakfast.

She had made his breakfast. He considered this while chewing his bacon and decided that this fact was enough to make him look down at Pinoko.

He wished he hadn't. She was on her tiptoes, lips puckered out in a facsimile of a kiss. He stared at her for a moment, then turned back to his food.

"_Dooooooc!"_

He chuckled to himself. "I'm not a very good kisser, Pinoko."

"I can teach you!"

"No."

The lips were still there. He could see the out of the corner eye.

"This is some excellent bacon, Pinoko."

Pinoko crossed her arms and gave up, stomping away. Black Jack couldn't help but laugh.

* * *

Why did she love him?

He'd been loved before. Not often, but enough by friends and family (his mother really, only his mother, always his mother) and even lovers to know that it was possible to harbor emotion like that for a man like him.

But he hadn't done anything for Pinoko, except save her life. He'd saved plenty of people's lives, and none of them had fallen in love with him. He wasn't charming or attractive or any of the things people were supposed to like...but then again, she was also a teratoid systoma while no experience of the outside world.

She loved it. She'd made that clear with, not her loud declarations, but the way she treated him, even when angry. She was immature and young and very important to him, but he could never love her the way she wanted. It made him a little sad; her love for him was pointless.

It also made him a little angry, that she'd make him worry about trivial things like this. People told him that love was special and important, but he was of the opinion that saving lives was more so.

Still, that didn't stop him from loving her like a father.

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I am a monster that can only feed on reviews. :)


	5. Mother

The middle section is based off all the images I've seen of little Kuro'o- always in a wheelchair, despite the fact the accident hadn't happened. So this is my theory. And, yes, the final chapter- the most important person in Black Jack's life...

* * *

Mother

"Mama?"

"Yes, honey?"

The little boy's face was hopelessly earnest as he whispered, "The kids at school make fun of my name."

His mother only smiled. "All of them?"

"No," he said. "Most of them."

"Who doesn't?"

"Takashi."

"Then he's the one who should be your friend."

He opened his mouth in confusion, but she shushed him and returned to her radio program, humming peacefully. He shut his mouth and decided that Takashi was basically his friend already.

* * *

"Hold my hand."

"Will this hurt?"

"Shhh, it'll be over soon."

"But..." said the child, worrying his lip. "You didn't answer me. Is it gonna hurt?"

"Yes," said his mother honestly. "But it'll be over soon."

"It can't hurt too much more than it already does," said the child, unwittingly breaking his mother's heart.

She smoothed his black hair back, trying not to look at the broken mess that were her son's legs. They'd said it was fixable, that he'd heal. She'd have to put her faith in the doctors.

"One surgery, and you'll be done," she promised. "Then no more doctors."

"Really? No more doctors?"

"Really."

* * *

Sitting at her bedside felt like the most exhausting thing he'd ever done.

Getting there was the biggest problem. He had to beg a nurse for hours to take him, and when they did, they'd have to lift him into a wheelchair and push it down the hall, forced to listen to their false assurances. He didn't care if he would get better. What was the point, without his mother?

He was there every second he was allowed, and when he wasn't with her she was in his thoughts every moment of every day. It still wasn't enough to save her. Even though he wished and prayed and hoped every waking second, it wasn't enough.

She died anyway, moving her lips just long enough to beg him to forgive the father who had left him.

Kuro'o Hazama watched his mother die, and that was when he decided he would become a doctor.

He never stopped thinking about her, not until the day he died.

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Thanks you for taking the time to read this story- I hope you liked it! :) And remember, reviews are love. :3


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